Step 9 AA: When to Make Amends and When Not to FHE Health

Call us or fill out our online contact form today to get started. An apology consists of words, saying sorry for wat you did while in active substance abuse, and not much both you and the person you harmed can count on moving into the future of your relationship. Making direct amends requires face-to-face interactions wherever possible, which shows sincerity, openness, and humility. These interactions are essential in rebuilding trust and promoting healing for both parties involved. However, it’s equally important to recognize when making amends might cause further harm.

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Patience, understanding, and acceptance are crucial in this process. Not everyone will be ready to hear your amends or respond positively. Recognize this as part of their own process, not a reflection of your sincerity or effort. For instance, imagine a scenario where you’ve harmed a former partner who has since moved on and Twelve-step program found peace.

Challenges in The 9th Step Process

When making amends it is important that you focus on your behaviors only and your amends. Or because of my drug use I ….” have no place in this process. Of course, others in our lives had negative behaviors or unhealthy ways of responding to addiction but that has nothing to do with us making amends for our own behaviors. You will lessen the impact of your amends if you water it down with excuses and external blame. It is equally important that you genuinely stop and listen to the other person. Even if you want to justly or correct, allow them the right to express their experiences, feelings and thoughts about the harm.

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Real restoration may unfold slowly, but the journey itself reshapes you. Whether accepted or not, sincere amends reflect courage, clarity, and character. The people you hurt may not forgive—and that’s okay—but you’ll gain peace, grow stronger, and honor your path in recovery. Any 12-step sponsor will tell you that it is easy to get bogged down in the 8th and 9th steps. Remember that you can only do your best to make the appropriate amends to the people you have wronged. Their acceptance or forgiveness is desired, but not necessary.

• It is freedom from behaviors that do not live up to the new life in sobriety I am choosing to live.
• Taking action is what truly counts in the journey of recovery.
• There is freedom that is gained by cleaning up the past, a freedom to live peacefully in the present.
• In NA, it’s also about staying mindful of your thoughts, actions, and how you show up for others.
• The content available on 12steppers.org is not medical advice and is strictly for informational purposes and is written/reviewed by active 12 step members.

Understanding Step 9 AA and NA: Making Direct Amends

Cause you can see how the Enterprise just set pieces all over the soundstage and then there was Planet from Hell on stage nine. But it was great because one of the things that I really loved doing was trying to remember what scenes they were shooting at the time. Because I would wait for those episodes and go, Oh, yeah, I was there for that. When you’re ready to make amends, you can find support to guide you through the process. Connect with 12-Step treatment programs to start planning your recovery. Making amends helps repair relationship problems caused by addiction.

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Hearing the experiences of others will give you strength and confidence. You can continue engaging in 12-Step meetings while you https://southernradiologists.com/alcoholic-neuropathy-medlineplus-medical/ are in treatment or recovery. This will ensure you accomplish your steps whilst also getting the benefits of evidence-based psychotherapy and medication-management for addiction recovery. The 12-Step program, developed by Alcoholics Anonymous, is one the most widely used programs worldwide for people in recovery.

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Moreover, if you quit drinking without addressing the issues that contributed to it, it can leave you sober but bitter and resentful. Lionel is the Clinical Director of Cornerstone’s Scottsdale treatment facilities. Living amends require you to demonstrate your lifestyle changes and discard destructive behaviors. With living amends, you show that you have learned from your mistakes and will make better choices in the future. It is important to genuinely feel remorse for the person you hurt, what you did, and the pain you caused.

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• In Alcoholics Anonymous literature, you’ll read that it’s important to offer a plan for how you can change your behavior in the future.
• Life is complicated and not always straightforward or black and white.
• To better understand the full progression, review the 12 steps of AA and see where Step 9 fits into your overall spiritual and behavioral transformation.
• If making an amends means exposing ourselves to triggering environments, we ought to reconsider and discuss healthy alternatives with a sponsor or addiction counselor.
• Apologies, while they can be well meaning, feel like lip service to many people.

Instead, you may need to engage in a dialogue with them over time. This may involve attending family therapy living amends or individual therapy. You will need to demonstrate that you are committed to rebuilding trust and repairing your relationship with them.