Vander’s Story

Recovery Triumph: Crack Cocaine and Alcohol

As a native of Los Angeles’s inner city, where drug dealing and gang violence are key aspects of the landscape, I was one of the lucky few to survive childhood with spirit and ambitions intact. The poverty and despair that was all around me crushed the hopes and dreams of many of my peers; few finished high school, and even fewer went on to college. Most are experiencing chronic unemployment, homelessness, incarceration, or addiction to crack cocaine or alcohol–or they’re dead. These sad circumstances are something never far from my consciousness even today.

I am the only member of my family to go to and graduate from college, but at one time, that seemed the impossible dream. I used drugs and alcohol for 23 years of my life. I was part of the crack cocaine epidemic that took place during the 1980s in Los Angeles. I drank cheap wine and malt liquor, smoked crack cocaine, and devoted as little time as possible in trying to pull myself out of this deadly situation. As time passed, I experienced hopelessness and despair in every aspect of my life. In 1988 I finally hit bottom, living on Skid Row in a cardboard box, addicted to smoking crack cocaine, and drinking alcohol. It was at this low point that I had to admit that I had a problem and that I was sick of living this dysfunctional lifestyle.

In 1991, I entered a church-based twelve-step drug and alcohol rehabilitation program, which was the Union Rescues Mission located downtown on Skid Row for ninety days, and then transferred to Acton Rehabilitation Center for an additional ninety days. Statistics say the longer people stay in treatment, the better their chances are for staying clean and sober.

In using the tools of recovery learned in these programs, I became active in Alcoholics Anonymous and Cocaine Anonymous. As a result of taking responsibility for my actions, I have been able to stay clean and sober from alcohol and drugs for the past twenty years and free from cigarettes for the past nineteen years with no relapses.

I’m a firm believer that when you take away the drugs and alcohol, you must replace them with something positive. For me, the positive was going back to school. At age thirty-eight, I enrolled in Los Angeles Community College. In 1994, I graduated with an associate of arts degree in human services, with a certificate in alcohol and drug counseling. I eventually earned a bachelor’s degree in social work from California State University, Los Angeles, and a master’s degree in social work from the University of Southern California. I also hold two California state certifications as a drug and alcohol counselor.

I’m now in the dissertation phase of a doctoral program in psychology at Capella University. I’m employed full-time as a licensed substance abuse social worker for the Veterans Affairs Hospital in Long Beach, California. And I work with homeless veterans who have a problem with drugs and alcohol.

I’m fulfilling my dreams as a result of staying clean and sober from drugs and alcohol–one day at a time. How I stay clean and sober is simple: I remember where I came from, and I remember that I don’t drink or use–no matter what.

—Vander